Mantras

May you remember that in this moment…
You are alive.
You are safe.
You are loved.

In the wee hours this morning, after my body and mind finally relaxed enough for me to fall asleep, I had a terrible dream.

I dreamt that I was in the hospital, and a doctor was telling me that I needed immediate multiple bypass surgery because my heart was about to explode. So that was a fun addition to the anxiety party that is raging in my brain. 😣

I wrote this mantra to myself—for myself—during the @jenpastiloff #onbeinghuman2020 live workshop last week. Then I created this stamp art in “purple, blue, orange, red...these colors of feeling” (thank you, @dermotkennedy, for your beautiful words) for my dear @malosaur_rex to remind us both that even though our brains are overprotective assholes sometimes, we are alive and safe and loved in this moment.

I’ve been repeating this mantra today. I’m pretty sure my dream wasn’t really about a cardiac emergency caused by arterial plaque blocking my blood flow. It feels more like it was about emotion demanding to be felt, demanding that my heart be cut open so it can find its way out.

Thumbnail illustration by the author