Your life is a singular experience.
One you don’t have to have alone.
Photo by Cheyenne Gil
Exploring my curves
Coming home to myself is a process, one that won’t end until the Universe is done experiencing itself through my human existence. As you read this, I am in the midst of exploring a myriad of curves in my life including:
Dropping out of diet culture.
Actively becoming anti-racist.
Resisting the capitalist grind culture.
Dismantling the patriarchy within.
Recovering from perfectionism.
Unlearning ableism.
Learning transformative justice.
Stepping into my queerness.
Letting go of sexual shame.
Every single one of these explorations is inextricably linked to my body acceptance journey. I cannot come home to myself if I don’t also come back home to my body.
This means practicing radical self-love and knowing that The Body Is Not an Apology. It means building Body Trust and re-learning how to listen to and believe the signals my body is giving me. It means understanding how The Body Keeps the Score and knowing that emotion and trauma has been stored in my body. And it means recognizing that the origins of fat phobia are racist.
I am learning to be vulnerable and see that the stories I have told myself—or those I’ve been taught by others—for four decades of life are simply not true, and I can let them go. I can set them down; they are not mine to carry anymore, if they ever were.
I am working every day to actively unlearn these stories. This is a journey of exploring these curves—in my life and on my body—and allowing what I’ve learned about myself and what I continue to experience to support others in exploring their own.
What I’ve learned is…
Growth exists at
the intersection of Discovery & Connection
Over the course of nearly two decades in consulting and leadership, I’ve done so many values-based self-assessments that I can’t remember them all. But in 2019, after a profound week of collective body love on the Oregon coast with 11 other humans who gave me the gift of themselves—their truth, their laughter, their tears, their humanity—and witnessed me as I gave myself in the same way, something new opened up for me, within me.
I was able to consider making a change in my life with a deeper sense of myself than I’d ever been able to access before. When I thought about what brings me joy and fulfillment, and how a change in my life and my livelihood could further support that, I realized a profound and simple truth about myself:
Discovery and Connection are necessary for me to expand into the fullness of my humanity and come back to the truest version of myself.
And each time I have spoken to someone about the experiences I’ve had and the work I’ve been doing to find my way back home to my body and to myself, I heard some variation of “Thank you! It’s SO good to hear someone say this. It’s like nobody talks about it, but we’re all going through some version of it.”
Explore the Curves is a way to bring those conversations into the open and to share stories and experiences that can help others build their own maps back home to themselves.
Discovery
If there’s one thing I could point to as a defining element of my personality and my life, it’s curiosity. Exploring and learning have always felt expansive. So many of the things I love to do today are driven by being curious about the world around me and about the people I encounter along the way. Driving, traveling, and expanding my horizons through food, music, art, culture—all of these experiences make the world feel bigger, more grand, and more full of possibility.
Connection
Life is a singular experience. No matter how close I am to another person, no matter how much we’ve been through together or learned about the world side by side, my experience of life—even in moments shared with another person—is solely my own. Sharing stories with others, communicating our experiences of life and love and fear helps make the world feel smaller, more intimate, and more full of humanity.
The rules of the road
This space aims to be…
Brave.
I can’t promise a safe space; that’s not my assertion to make, because what feels safe for one may not feel safe for another. I can invite you to be brave in your vulnerability, and to be courageous in your compassion for yourself and others.
Fat-positive.
I am fat; I use the word “fat” as a neutral descriptor. This is a space where fatness will be on display and fat-phobia (overt, covert, and internalized) will be discussed and challenged. Fat bodies—from small to infinifat—are respected here and will be treated with dignity. Full stop.
Sex-positive.
There’s gonna be sex talk here. No shame. Enthusiastic consent is the baseline. Accurate language is sexy; go easy on the euphemisms. Kinks are welcomed; don’t yuck anyone’s yum. Fuck the patriarchy.
Anti-racist.
There is no point in doing any of this work if it is not in service to unlearning white supremacist delusion (thanks, SRT) and creating a world where Black Lives Matter and where BIPOC voices, joy, and lived experiences are honored and fought for.
2SLGBTQIA+ friendly.
I identify as queer, both in terms of my sexual orientation and my gender identity. I am still relatively “young” in my own self-acceptance after decades of hiding myself. Whatever your queer looks like (and whatever you call it), you are welcome here.
True.
I’m going to do my best and ask you to do your best in honoring the truth of ourselves and each other and the way we show up in the world. No masks. No armor. No bullshit. And if you have an issue with curse words, this space may prove unpleasant for you.
Let’s explore together
Photo by Noble Mitchell on Unsplash
1:1 Discovery Sessions
Open mind.
What lies within you, within your relationship with your body and your identity, that you’ve yet to discover? What stories are taking up space in your mind? Are they yours, or were they planted there by others? What are you ready to UN-learn?
These are just a few of the topics you and I might discuss in Discover 1:1 consultations. My aim is to co-create a brave space together where we can learn with and from one another as we explore our singular experiences of life.
Discover 1:1 consultations* are available individually or as part of a subscription package and can be customized based on your needs, schedule, and budget.
*Currently offered via Zoom, Skype, GMeet or FaceTime due to health and safety requirements.
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
Connection Talks
Willing heart.
You are not alone. Vulnerability is hard. Letting people in can be scary. And being in community with others who are exploring and enjoying their own existence outside the limited expectations and directives of society can feel so nourishing.
Humans are wired for connection, and connection happens through understanding and empathy and validation as we share our stories. Let me help you find or create the connections that will allow you to sustain yourself in this lifelong work. Whether you’re looking for body acceptance, fat-positive, sex-positive, kink-friendly, 2SLGBTQIA+, I want to help you share your story and build connections to nurturing communities of humans who have marginalized identities in common with you.
If you have a small group (2-3 people) you’d like to work together with as you explore the curves in the road back to yourself, I would be happy to facilitate connected talks related to resources of interest.
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash
Workshop Collective
Community care.
I am an agent provocateur. One of my favorite things to do is facilitate structured discussion that provokes action among groups of people who are aligned in a common goal.
More than a decade of experience in facilitating strategic, creative, and innovation-focused workshops with organizations, teams, and individuals has given me a dynamic ability to help people Discover and Connect to create spaces of collective growth.
In addition to hosting fat-positive, sex-positive, pleasure-centered workshop events that are open to the community, I can also build customized programs to help you and your support network nurture one another and build your maps back home to your truest selves.