Help

I wrote this for someone I care deeply about after they shared a "confession" with me. And then I realized I had written something I so often need to hear myself. So this is a reminder to me.

Admitting that we aren't 100% in control and that we need help to get back to even just a neutral place of imperfect OK-ness...that is some HARD SHIT right there. But let me say this:

IT IS OK TO NEED HELP.

It is also ok to be afraid of needing and asking for help.
It is also ok to not know how to ask for help and to look for it in ways that aren't the best for our wellbeing.
It is also ok to admit you have NO FUCKING CLUE how to navigate the emotional fuckery of life without help.
It is also ok to accept that help may come from places you never thought you'd need.

IT IS OK.

But here's what's NOT OK:

Thinking you have to handle it all by yourself. You DON'T.
Thinking you have to have your shit together all the time, every day. You DON'T.
Thinking you have to pretend that it's all fine when you're stressed or scared or need someone to listen. You DON'T.
Thinking that a 2am phone call when you're stressed or scared or need someone to listen is a burden. It's NOT.
Thinking that being strong for everyone else means that you cannot let yourself break down even for a moment. You CAN.

I love you and I'm here for you...to help in whatever way I can, even if neither of us knows what that needs to look like at a given moment. And to remind you that this is not yours to carry alone. Much as you'd like to, you can't fix other people. All that you can do is treat yourself with grace and care and show yourself a fraction of the love and kindness and consideration and empathy that you show everyone else in your life. And you can bet your cute ass that means reaching out for and accepting help.

I'm so glad that you reached out and shared this "confession" with me. But know that there's nothing to confess, my dear, because there's nothing to feel guilty about here. You are human. One of my favorite humans. I love you.

Thumbnail photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash